Parenting is hard!!!
Can I get an AMEN!!! I can honestly say that I am humbled daily by my
children … or my ability to parent them. Many days, I feel as though I’m failing (or
inadequate) at being a “good” mom. Oddly, on the flip side, I struggle with serious
pride issues as well. I think that if my kids do not act perfectly around
others, that it’s a reflection on me. And, I find myself more worried about
what others think than what God thinks. Oh my. Is that really what I am doing?!? All this
results in me constantly being on them.
What message am I
sending? Do my kids have to earn love and acceptance from mom and dad? At
first glimpse I say “Of course not” but if I really look at my actions and speech, I have
to question it. Yikes!! Am I teaching a warped view of love (based on
conditions)? Will they grow up believing that to be loved by anyone (including
God), they must earn it? “I’m not good enough… I have to be better” – Is this
the message they are receiving? Double Yikes!! Is this how I got this
message!?! Is this why so many of us have a hard time understanding what Love
really is… because this is how the World loves?
If you have more than one child, chances are, one of them is
your challenge, knows how to push those buttons and can bring out the worst in
you. Wow, who knew that anger was in there!!! My firstborn, bless him, is my
challenge. I call him my little “character builder.” I’m really hard on him.
Why is that? Three things come to mind. 1) He is my first 2) He is most like me
3) I see the potential there. There is so much inner conflict and turmoil going
on because on one hand I have this frustration for him to be a certain way, but
on the other hand, there’s guilt because of the condemnation he is constantly
receiving from me.
I went for my jog with God. My “character builder” was on my
heart and I was desperate for some wisdom. God spoke. This is what I heard … “I gave you your kids. Let them be who I’ve
created them to be, not what you think they should be. THEY ARE FOR MY GLORY, NOT YOURS.” Wow, talk about revelation. I am a transparent person, but until
now, not in this area. I have been so prideful. I want to appear as if I have
all the answers, and perfect children. Why?
So I can be praised for my abilities. Ouch. Truth Hurts. No wonder I’m stressed, confused
and overwhelmed with parenting. I’m working in my own flesh and my priorities
are all wrong. I’ve had 6 good years of habitual responses and a lifetime of
mindsets to break. I CHOOSE to lose all pretenses, humble myself before
everyone, and admit that I have no ability without His Spirit moving through me. I
must raise my children for His Glory. Then
and only then, will I become a parent to be praised.
Application: Does any of this ring true to you? I think we can all say it does to an extent. How do we change?
