Sunday, August 26, 2012

Do I really have to surrender!?!?

So ... I said I wasn't going to post this week, but God is showing me otherwise. He's testing me to see if I really meant what I said in my last post about surrender.

I mentioned that we were going on vacay this week. We're in Birmingham, AL visiting my family for the weekend and our plan is to head to the gulf on Monday for the week... but it's looking like old Isaac is going to put a damper on things. If you know me, vacations are my escape. What I look forward to... and now a days are very rare. I've been looking forward to this for SO LONG and it's looking like we will have to cancel! My insides want to throw a temper tantrum.... a really big one. I'm going bonkers as we sit and wait. George has prepared himself and thrown in the towel. But my irrational thinking says, It will only be category 1 (ok, maybe 2 now) and that's if it hits where we are. I still want to go! I'm really struggling here!

Now that you're feeling sorry for me, how about I practice what I preach! Surrender... everything ... even my vacations and what they look like.

This weekend I started reading a book recommended to me called Getting Unstuck by Linda Mintle. It has a great message which I can apply to this situation. Life is about loss (change), whether it be with people, jobs, identity, things or situations, etc. Our lives are filled with change and unmet expectations. The question is, will you dwell on that, or will you embrace it? Will you look for the good (the new beginning) that God will bring out of it?

As I said last post, God just wants us to want Him more than other people, situations or things. He wants us to surrender to His will; Not to give us something we don't want, but instead, so He can bless us. I need to remember this.

... So ... confession time... I'm wanting this vacation more than I'm wanting Him right now. I don't know what's going to happen and where this hurricane will actually hit. It may go out to sea or it may be a direct hit on the coast. No matter what, it's shown me an area where my flesh is winning. I need to be more concerned with the people who will be affected physically or materially by the storm instead of what I want and feel I deserve right now. I need to surrender my expectations of my vacation. Just because there is change, doesn't mean there can't be a vacation. I need to trust and allow God to bless us with His plans.

So here goes ... it's painful ... and I don't feel it yet, but I CHOOSE to speak it until I feel it.
"Lord, I surrender this vacation to you. I remove all my expectations and instead trust you. Your will, not mine. Change my heart and make me desire you over anything ... even my precious vacations!!! I CHOOSE to look for the good in all circumstances... especially this!"

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