Little by Little

As I've mentioned before, there has been a life long issue that I've faced and am tearing down one block at a time. Little by Little. We all have one; why does it have to take so long?

Exodus 23:30 Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased and are numerous enough to take possession of the land.

Why? So I may know that my dependence and strength comes from God and not of myself. When I am strong enough in Him and have clarity and wisdom from Him; then I will find that freedom from it.

So, I know freedom is coming. And in the interim, I will CHOOSE to: 

• Say one of Joyce Meyer's famous lines. "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. I'm OK and I'm on my way."
• Address the issue and identify where I am being deceived
• Learn how to gain freedom from it
• Wait expectantly for Him to rescue me.

Now... lets get back to the issue at hand - that dreadful issue MANY of us women have - Our Body Image. In this area right now, I have two competing mindsets (lies)

1. You CAN eat that because you're pregnant. (This one takes over very easily in the moment)
2. I can only gain X amount of weight. I shouldn't have done that and must be better next time and exercise more!!! (This takes it's place soon after the moment passes and until the next weak moment comes)

Talk about two personalities - two extremes - two competing thoughts. Can anyone say GIRL... YOU NEED SOME BALANCE!?!?!

I'm either over-indulging (Have I mentioned how much better food is when you are pregnant???) or I'm obsessed with the way I look and how much weight I'm gaining. It's a nasty set of lies and a cycle that I am fighting daily right now. Every time I go by a mirror, I stop and turn to the side to see "just how bad I look." - Yes, you heard right. Pregnancy is beautiful, but Satan is trying to take that away from me.

Let me also take you back to pre-pregnancy. The past few years, my struggles with food and weight have been much more contained and under control. However, I must admit the obsessiveness of it has never let up. I would always walk by that mirror and feel inferior, I would still overindulge - but then run extra far that day; and would constantly be comparing myself to others. I am realizing my own thought up solution (even though it was temporarily working) was merely counterfeit and its time to get to the root issue.

THE ROOT ISSUE:

• That nasty lie of "I'm not good enough" is still deceiving me in this one area (2 Cor 5:21). I compare myself to other women NO matter what size I am. (2 Cor 10:12). I'm measuring myself against the wrong rules (Romans 7:4).
• I'm going to food to "fill" me (spiritually) instead of to God; which leaves me feeling emptier than before. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). 1 Timothy 5:6 But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.

In the book, Live Differently, Think Differently, Bob Hamp refers to this type of struggle as bondage (Being stuck or dissatisfied). I would have to agree. So... now I've identified this area of bondage. How do we overcome it?

What's got your stomach in knots?

Fears. We all have those things in our life that cause us fear and anxiety. Some are big things, others are smaller and just plain silly.

Mine is public speaking... and that is exactly what I will be doing in front of over 50 women every Tuesday night for the next 10 weeks. I think back to the days, not too joyfully, of Public Speaking 101 in College (and high school) when I'd literally have nightmares the night before and be terribly anxious for days leading up to it. When time came, my stomach was in knots, I'd start sweating, my chest turned red, I'd feel like I couldn't breath and my adrenaline was out of control... and not in a good way. I've been told I make funny faces and that dreaded word, "Ummm" comes out ever other word. It's a glorious sight as I'm sure you can imagine!

Speaking in front of people is a common fear. Why do we make it such a traumatic thing? I believe it's because we all want to portray ourselves a certain way... PERFECT! We want to impress others and for them to think that we have it all together. We are so worried about what they think and we let that dictate WAY too much of our lives.

THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT. Despite my traumatic experiences in the past, the cool thing is.... I've been at peace this whole time and I've had plenty of chances to get myself worked up. I'm trusting and truly believing that this same peace will be there while I speak.
 
God has called me to this specific role for this season of my life and I KNOW he will provide all that I need to carry me through. So, tonight, I CHOOSE to not worry about.....

Whether my armpits are sweating

Falling over a chair

Running out of breath while I'm talking (even though I'm more winded now since I'm pregnant)

Saying something that makes absolutely no sense OR completely forgetting what I'm supposed to say


Bottom Line: I CHOOSE to not worry about whether I'm a good or bad speaker. I CHOOSE to put my focus on God, for He is my audience of One. 

This study I'm leading is not about me or my great speaking abilities. It's for His glory, not mine. It's for His Kingdom, not my resume. I'm asking for more of Him and less of me. I am thinking on this and keeping my focus on where it needs to be... On Him and not me. I look forward to reporting back to you after the big event. (written Tuesday, Sept 18th 2pm)

(Bright and early Wed, Sept 19th) I"m completely amazed. I was NEVER nervous. I NEVER lost my peace. Even when I put my headset on upside down, even when I almost lost my balance and fell over, and even when I caught myself saying "ummm" in the beginning. I just kept going and relying on Him. Thank you God for your faithfulness!  Wow. How, absolutely cool. It is so true... He will equip you with what you need when you need it. Our job is to just surrender and trust it!

This past weekend, my dear friend, accountability and co-leader had gave me this verse which I thought on and reminded myself of often.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5 Brothers and sisters, when I came to you I didn’t come with fancy words or great wisdom. I preached to you the truth about God’s love. I made up my mind to pay attention to only one thing while I was with you. That one thing was Jesus Christ and his death on the cross. When I came to you, I was weak and afraid and trembling all over. I didn’t preach my message with clever and compelling words. As I preached, the Holy Spirit showed his power. That was so you would believe not because of human wisdom but because of God’s power. (emphasis mine)

What if we truly lived life this way in all things? Not just when we have to speak or lead something. But when we are raising our kids, have any big or small undertaking, have a big day ahead and much to get done, talking to our neighbors or just simply enjoying time out with our friends. What if we truly lived to be a vessel allowing for Him to lead? What if we made it more about Him than us? Seems like life would be much easier. We are the ones making it so hard.

If we'd just do things in His name and strength and not our own we would find constant peace.
Isaiah 26:3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.

Have you been attacked?

...I mean spiritually. The truth is we are attacked often and many aren't even aware of it. They say ... it's just a coincidence... or I'm just having a really bad day. Have you ever woke up one morning and thought to your self, "What's wrong me today?!?!... I'm a little off and I don't know why"? These are just a few examples of attacks.

The truth is, the more you are doing for the Lord, the more Satan will try to keep you from doing it ... OR, at the very least, he will try to make you lose your cool in the midst of it.

I'm definitely getting some offensive moves put on me right now and I'm sure more are to come this fall while I lead the Battles of the Mind study (which talks about these types of things). Alot of preparation has gone into this study and my co-leaders and I are in the midst of it right now. Out of the three of us, we've been faced with health issues, extreme busyness, life out of balance... even misunderstandings and dissension trying to come between us... you name it, it's been happening.

Monday night, as I was putting many folders together for the study, my nose starts to bleed onto my papers and my cute little maternity dress I borrowed from a girlfriend (so sorry SC! ...the stain did come out though. Note, this has happened a few times while I've been pregnant so nothing to worry about.) That morning, as I was working on the study on my laptop and eating my cereal, I spilled milk on my keyboard and now my "g"'s and "h"'s no longer work - I have to cut and paste them!!! Talk about time waister! ... OK, the milk and computer thing was a little my fault.. Don't eat around the computer, but I can tell you these things are happening to get me flustered! This past week, I was not well, ankles were swelling a bit, and my body felt like it had the flu (it was the same feeling I had when I went on bed rest half way through my pregnancy with Connor - my 2nd). This week I am fine (thank you God) and I'm believing all is well with the pregnancy. Fear for the health of my daughter does still creep into my mind often, but I recognize this is not from God and I CHOOSE to trust Him and His promises instead of believe the enemy and his lies.... THESE ARE ATTACKS.

In your own life, do you believe these types of things are a battle or coincidence?

Angels and Demons. There are movies and books about them. Even costumes we dress our children in at Halloween. But, do you really believe in them? If you do, does it freak you out and you try not to think about it? That was me for a long time. However, it won’t make them go away. In fact, if Satan can get you to believe he doesn't exist, then he has a huge advantage over you. The unseen world. It’s very real. There is something much bigger than us and “our little worlds” going on. We need to recognize it, know what side we’re fighting on and resist.

James 4:7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Not convinced? Are you thinking I've lost my marbles?
Look at what the Bible says about the unseen world.
Ephesians 6:12; Colossians 1:16, 2:15; 2 Corinthians 10:3-4; Romans 8:38-39

Satan is the father of lies and of all that is false (John 8:44). He is the great deceiver & accuser (Rev 12:9-10).

How does he attack? Through circumstances, people and our minds. Little by little. Carefully laid plans. It all sound like a horror movie or a psychological thriller. In a way it could be, but, NOT IF YOU ARE IN CHRIST. TAKE HEART, YOU'RE COVERED.

• -2 Chronicles 20:15 And he said, “Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the Lord to you: ‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.  (Emphasis mine)

• John16:33 In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world;

• 1John 4:4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world

Still not convinced? Think on these scenarios and see if any sound familiar?

Church in a Bar?!?!?

How many of you out there need a vacation from your vacation?!?! We got home yesterday (10 days away) ... and yes, if you read my last post, we did finally make it down to Perdido Key for some nice beautiful beach time. Now... all I can say is, I'm pooped! I'm a hot mess! I have hit a wall and whenever I get up, I either break something, drop something or hurt myself (good thing baby #3 is safe and sound in the womb). Needless to say, I'm staying seated and throwing in the towel for the day ... after I write this post. (warning: might not be too deep since my brain is mush).

 

Boy do I have a message for you today though. Guess where I heard this message this past Sunday? ... Yes... At a church service. Guess where?.... Nope... a hole in the wall bar on the AL/FL border. The same bar that is known for it's crazy times and that I frequented often during my college years. I heard about a church service there and of course was a little skeptical. At first I wanted to go because I was curious, then I questioned if I should go... if it would honor God. Then as time came closer to go, I wanted to stay out on the beach and lounge instead. This is when I realized I would be dishonoring God if I did NOT go.... So I went.

 

Would you believe the place was packed?!?!? Standing room only... Children running around everywhere... no one with bushwhackers or other cocktails in their hands; but instead water bottles the many volunteers were passing out. I was in awe. The pastor was awesome... Worship was sincere... It was the real deal! And to top it off, it ended with baptisms in the ocean (1 was planned - an 8yr old girl, 2 others were spontaneous middle aged men). How incredibly cool is that!?!?!?

 

Ministries like that get me excited. Out of the box. Going out in the world and being among the lost. (Mark 2:17). That's where you see God at work. And to think... I almost didn't go. I almost gave into the judgemental "Pharisee" mindset. This was an AHA moment for me. Sometimes we the "Church" stay sheltered inside the "church" building and we miss BEING the "Church" that God called us to be (Mark 16:15). This is the True Church ... not a building, but people leaving the "building" to share the gospel.

 

So, what's the challenge for us here? Start preaching in a bar? No... Not for most of us anyway. I believe it's to change our thinking about Sunday church and start doing church everyday.  We've been going to church once a week to get filled up. But then, what do we do with it. Keep it for ourselves or pour it out on those who need it outside of church? Church doesnt have to be a service... church is us going out in the world being a light and sharing our stories. Your Church building is the filling station. Go out and use the fuel for good.

 

Start thinking out of the box. How can you be a light today? How can you be THE church outside of YOUR church?

 

Mark 16:15  And then he told them, “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone

 

Mark 2:15-17 Later, Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. (There were many people of this kind among Jesus’ followers.) But when the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees saw him eating with tax collectors and other sinners, they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”