The Day After

So... the big day is over... 
How is the day after leaving you feeling?

 

...depressed, let down, condemned, empty?

As mentioned earlier, I really struggle with building the "Big Day" up so much that my expectations cannot be met. This year, it wasnt so much expectations of my circumstances or events going on around me, but instead, expectations to give God my "whole" day in "every" single way. I wanted to be thinking of Him at every moment, include him in every conversation, action and thought. Did I succeed? NO. So I struggled with guilt all day.

Why can't I ever just give Him just one complete day?!?!? If Satan cannot get you with distractions, he will go the other route ... through guilt and condemnation. Thankfully I did remember that I am human, I have limitations and God knows my heart and intentions (even when my flesh gets in the way).

I opened my devotional this morning and there was confirmation of this truth.


Jesus Calling, Dec 26th

I AM THE GIFT  that continuously gives - bounteously, with no strings attached. Unconditional Love is such a radical concept that even My most devoted followers fail to grasp it fully. Absolutely nothing in heaven or on earth can cause Me to stop loving you. you may feel more loved when you are performing according to your expectations. But My Love for you is perfect; therefore it is not subject to variation. What does vary is your awareness of My loving Presence.

When you are dissatiffied with your behavior, you tend to feel unworthy of My Love, you may unconsciously punish yourself by withdrawing from Me and attributing the distance between us to My displeasure. Instead of returning to Me and receiving My Love, you attempt to earn My approval by trying  harder. All the while, I am aching to hold you in My everlasting arms, to enfold you in My Love. Whey you are feeling unworthy or unloved, come to Me. then ask for receptivitiy to My unfailing Love.

1 John 415-18, Deuteronomy 33:27, Psalm 13:5

Some truths stick out to me here.

• NOTHING we can do (even disregarding our Savior on Christmas) can separate us from the Love of God. (Romans 8:38-39)

• Jesus is our CONTINUOUS gift. Continuous is referred to as "unbroken whole or without interuption" - google. Even when we fail or "feel" like we fail one day, He is there in the moment and the next day unchanging. (Hebrews 13:8)

• When you feel condemnation, NONE of it is from God. Infact, all he wants is for you to come to Him so He can love you. (Matthew 11:28-30)

So... what does your "Day After" look like? Are you sad? Disappointed? Lonely? Feeling Regret?

All he wants to do is fill us with love and joy every day this year. He wants us to recognize that His Birth is not about one day but about a continous gift that lasts 365 days each year! Let's be a continuous gift to Him this year. Not in deed, because we will fail, but in our hearts true motive and intention.

And when we do fail... "There will be NO condemnation for those who are Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)

Baby Countdown - 3 weeks

The Perfect Gift

What will your perfect gift be this year? I'm not talking about that item that you've been wanting all year. I'm talking about a gift for the guest of honor - Jesus. It is His birthday after all.

This devotional is most fitting for this time of year. I chose to write about this because we think we have to do and be all these things and all He really wants from us is to put our hope and focus on Him.

THAT is the perfect gift. Will you give it to Him this year?

Preparing Your Heart for Your King

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Celebrating His 1st Coming 

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Anticipating His 2nd Coming.  

 

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Jesus Calling, Dec 19th
DO NOT BE WEIGHED DOWN by the clutter in your life: lots of little chores to do sometime, in no particular order. If you focus too much on these petty tasks, trying to get them all out of the way, you will discover that they are endless. They can eat up as much time as you devote to them.
 
Instead of trying to do all your chores at once, choose the ones that need to be done today. Let the rest slip into the background of your mind, so I can be in the forefront of your awareness. Remember that your ultimate goal is living close to Me, being responsive to My initiatives. I can communicate with you most readily when your mind is uncluttered and turned toward Me. Seek My Face continually throughout this day. let My Presence bring order to your thoughts, infusing Peace into your entire being.
 
Right now, my clutter is a checklist of things I want to get done before Christmas. Unfortunately, this checklist is things of this world - chores, shopping, cleaning the house, cooking, preparing for baby. And with me waddling in slow motion these days it's even more frustrating. Why am I doing this to myself?!?!? I teeter between feeling overwhelmed and condemned from legalism. I've got it all backwards.  

My inward checklist should really be simple - Be Still (Ps 46:10), Rest in (Matthew 11:28-30) and Depend on Him (Ps 62). 

That's the perfect gift? Is it really that simple? Yes.

What about the other stuff? If you do this, than everything else will fall into place.  
Proverbs 16:3 Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.
Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. 

 Take special note now during the hustle and bustle,

and remember what this week is all about...

Then carry it into the new year with you.

One blemish at a time

God is continually removing one blemish at a time from our lives. HE loves us too much to open our eyes to all of them at once, because it's not about condemning our imperfections, but instead transforming our souls to be who we were designed to be.

God is the potter, I am the clay... and he's molding me this very moment. He's preparing my heart for a life change. Removing an idol from my life. Something that consumes me more than Him - My food addiction and fixation on my body size.

For so long, I have lived with the idea that IF I was "thin" then all would be right in my little world. In my HEAD, I know this is false - there are many "thin" women out there who can atest to this. ... but my HEART is much harder to break through to. For so long, Satan has been deceiving me with shame, condemnation, body dis morphia and the counterfeit that thin = freedom.

To see if I'm ready, I believe God has been testing me. He wants me to be confident and accept my size no matter what it is - because THAT is not the issue.

1. This past fall, God called me to stand in front of 50 women, teach a bible study and be transparent about this very issue while my waistline expanded. I obeyed and laughed at God's sense of humor, where in the past, I would have gone into hiding instead.
2. Just this past week, I was asked to be the "very pregnant lady" in a parenting video for Growing Families International. While it was a small part, it was a very big deal to me because I cannot stand seeing pictures of myself, let a lone be on display for the world when I'm on the heavier side. I laughed when I was asked because I know that I know that I know he is stretching me. I obeyed.... and wore black. :)

... So here I am... ready Lord. I BELIEVE you can heal me. I've seen it with my depression and I know it's possible (Matthew 19:26). I know that anything I ask for in your will, that you will give (1 John 5:14-15). And removing idols from my life is Your will. I can speak confidently and boldly because I truly believe now is the time for this heart issue to be molded into something beautiful. Will I always feel a dependency for Him in this area? Yes. Why? Because it's part of His perfect plan...

Jesus Calling December 8th
YOUR NEEDS (freedom) AND MY RICHES (inheritance, power, strength) are a perfect fit. I never meant for you to be self-sufficient. Instead I designed you to need Me not only for daily bread, but also for fulfillment of a deep yearnings. I carefully crafted your longings and feelings of incompleteness, to point you to Me. Therefore, do not try to bury or deny these feelings. Beware also of trying to pacify these longings with lesser gods: people, possessions, power (food).

Come to Me in all your neediness, with defenses down and the desire to be blessed. As you spend time in My Presence,  your deepest longings are fulfilled. Rejoice in your neediness, which enables you to find intimate completion in Me. (Emphasis and parenthesis added mine.)

 

What are you trying to be self-sufficient in?

How are you trying to pacify your feelings of incompleteness?

I'm starting the Made to Crave bible study with a couple of like-minded girls this week.
I am looking forward to:

• Freedom from my addiction. 
• Galations 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
• Healing from trying to be self-sufficient and pacifying my longings with food instead of God. 
• Phil 4:19 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
• Freedom from physically seeing myself (my size) as anything less than what God sees me as ... perfect.
• 2 Cor 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

I will keep you posted!

Does anyone struggle with ...

...loving Christmas sooo much ... but for the wrong reasons. The busyness of parties, decorating, finding the perfect gift, giving and receiving family cards, parades, pageants, programs ... do i need to continue.

Confession Time. My TV viewing triples this month, because I LOVE watching the cheesy hallmark Christmas movies with no lights on except my many indoor Christmas lights twinkling everywhere. I look forward to it all year .. and I'm sure George does not. :)

Although none of this is wrong, there is a reason for moderation. All these things can easily overshadow Christ in Christmas. EVERY year I have to constantly remind myself of what this time of year is really about.

Up until a few years ago, when I woke up on December 26th, I was so depressed. Why?... because "it" was all over... and "it" never lived up to the expectations I had in my head. Wow, how backwards is this thinking?!?! December 26th is not the end, but a symbol of new beginning that exceeds all of my expectations...

...God coming to this earth to live, feel, and struggle just like me - and to FREE me from ALL of it. What an amazing design to live for daily and not just from now until Christmas Day.

December is about anticipating and celebrating His coming... Advent. I have to make an extra effort each year to be intentional and not give into all the commercialism. This is an ongoing process of change for me. And with each year, I feel like I seem to get it a little more.

Celebrating advent with my kids has been a huge help. The past two years, I've used: 

1. Ann Voskamps - A Jesse Tree Devotional - I paraphrase the lesson since my children are young, but each night of December, we place a paper ornament on a special tree that symbolizes Christ's story that began all the way back in Genesis.
2. We also create a daily link chain of verses to go on our Jesse tree as well as follow a daily activity guide to go along with it.  (Although, this year, I'm slacking a bit on the daily activities... can I blame the pregnancy???)

I know as my kids grow older, this time of advent will revolve. Right now, I'm enjoying getting into the habit and am determined to have Christmas so full of Christ that it's near to impossible for my kids to struggle like I do each year.

Do you have a plan to keep Christ in Christmas? Don't think that since we are already in December, you cannot start now. It's just about getting into a habit.

Here are some ideas to check out - there are many out there so do a little searching for the perfect fit. If you have a plan, I would love to hear your ideas.

• http://www.conversiondiary.com/2010/11/baby-steps-for-celebrating-advent-a-cornucopia-of-ideas.html
• http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/holidays/making-meaningful-christmas-memories/celebrate-advent.aspx
• http://christianity.about.com/od/christmas/tp/allaboutadvent.htm

While December is all about anticipation of His coming, January - November is about US coming to Him...

...coming in humility, with adoration and praise for His extraordinary plan. A plan He designed way before we were even created.