The Day After

So... the big day is over... 
How is the day after leaving you feeling?

 

...depressed, let down, condemned, empty?

As mentioned earlier, I really struggle with building the "Big Day" up so much that my expectations cannot be met. This year, it wasnt so much expectations of my circumstances or events going on around me, but instead, expectations to give God my "whole" day in "every" single way. I wanted to be thinking of Him at every moment, include him in every conversation, action and thought. Did I succeed? NO. So I struggled with guilt all day.

Why can't I ever just give Him just one complete day?!?!? If Satan cannot get you with distractions, he will go the other route ... through guilt and condemnation. Thankfully I did remember that I am human, I have limitations and God knows my heart and intentions (even when my flesh gets in the way).

I opened my devotional this morning and there was confirmation of this truth.


Jesus Calling, Dec 26th

I AM THE GIFT  that continuously gives - bounteously, with no strings attached. Unconditional Love is such a radical concept that even My most devoted followers fail to grasp it fully. Absolutely nothing in heaven or on earth can cause Me to stop loving you. you may feel more loved when you are performing according to your expectations. But My Love for you is perfect; therefore it is not subject to variation. What does vary is your awareness of My loving Presence.

When you are dissatiffied with your behavior, you tend to feel unworthy of My Love, you may unconsciously punish yourself by withdrawing from Me and attributing the distance between us to My displeasure. Instead of returning to Me and receiving My Love, you attempt to earn My approval by trying  harder. All the while, I am aching to hold you in My everlasting arms, to enfold you in My Love. Whey you are feeling unworthy or unloved, come to Me. then ask for receptivitiy to My unfailing Love.

1 John 415-18, Deuteronomy 33:27, Psalm 13:5

Some truths stick out to me here.

• NOTHING we can do (even disregarding our Savior on Christmas) can separate us from the Love of God. (Romans 8:38-39)

• Jesus is our CONTINUOUS gift. Continuous is referred to as "unbroken whole or without interuption" - google. Even when we fail or "feel" like we fail one day, He is there in the moment and the next day unchanging. (Hebrews 13:8)

• When you feel condemnation, NONE of it is from God. Infact, all he wants is for you to come to Him so He can love you. (Matthew 11:28-30)

So... what does your "Day After" look like? Are you sad? Disappointed? Lonely? Feeling Regret?

All he wants to do is fill us with love and joy every day this year. He wants us to recognize that His Birth is not about one day but about a continous gift that lasts 365 days each year! Let's be a continuous gift to Him this year. Not in deed, because we will fail, but in our hearts true motive and intention.

And when we do fail... "There will be NO condemnation for those who are Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)

Baby Countdown - 3 weeks

The Perfect Gift

What will your perfect gift be this year? I'm not talking about that item that you've been wanting all year. I'm talking about a gift for the guest of honor - Jesus. It is His birthday after all.

This devotional is most fitting for this time of year. I chose to write about this because we think we have to do and be all these things and all He really wants from us is to put our hope and focus on Him.

THAT is the perfect gift. Will you give it to Him this year?

Preparing Your Heart for Your King

- 

Celebrating His 1st Coming 

-

Anticipating His 2nd Coming.  

 

____________________

Jesus Calling, Dec 19th
DO NOT BE WEIGHED DOWN by the clutter in your life: lots of little chores to do sometime, in no particular order. If you focus too much on these petty tasks, trying to get them all out of the way, you will discover that they are endless. They can eat up as much time as you devote to them.
 
Instead of trying to do all your chores at once, choose the ones that need to be done today. Let the rest slip into the background of your mind, so I can be in the forefront of your awareness. Remember that your ultimate goal is living close to Me, being responsive to My initiatives. I can communicate with you most readily when your mind is uncluttered and turned toward Me. Seek My Face continually throughout this day. let My Presence bring order to your thoughts, infusing Peace into your entire being.
 
Right now, my clutter is a checklist of things I want to get done before Christmas. Unfortunately, this checklist is things of this world - chores, shopping, cleaning the house, cooking, preparing for baby. And with me waddling in slow motion these days it's even more frustrating. Why am I doing this to myself?!?!? I teeter between feeling overwhelmed and condemned from legalism. I've got it all backwards.  

My inward checklist should really be simple - Be Still (Ps 46:10), Rest in (Matthew 11:28-30) and Depend on Him (Ps 62). 

That's the perfect gift? Is it really that simple? Yes.

What about the other stuff? If you do this, than everything else will fall into place.  
Proverbs 16:3 Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.
Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. 

 Take special note now during the hustle and bustle,

and remember what this week is all about...

Then carry it into the new year with you.

One blemish at a time

God is continually removing one blemish at a time from our lives. HE loves us too much to open our eyes to all of them at once, because it's not about condemning our imperfections, but instead transforming our souls to be who we were designed to be.

God is the potter, I am the clay... and he's molding me this very moment. He's preparing my heart for a life change. Removing an idol from my life. Something that consumes me more than Him - My food addiction and fixation on my body size.

For so long, I have lived with the idea that IF I was "thin" then all would be right in my little world. In my HEAD, I know this is false - there are many "thin" women out there who can atest to this. ... but my HEART is much harder to break through to. For so long, Satan has been deceiving me with shame, condemnation, body dis morphia and the counterfeit that thin = freedom.

To see if I'm ready, I believe God has been testing me. He wants me to be confident and accept my size no matter what it is - because THAT is not the issue.

1. This past fall, God called me to stand in front of 50 women, teach a bible study and be transparent about this very issue while my waistline expanded. I obeyed and laughed at God's sense of humor, where in the past, I would have gone into hiding instead.
2. Just this past week, I was asked to be the "very pregnant lady" in a parenting video for Growing Families International. While it was a small part, it was a very big deal to me because I cannot stand seeing pictures of myself, let a lone be on display for the world when I'm on the heavier side. I laughed when I was asked because I know that I know that I know he is stretching me. I obeyed.... and wore black. :)

... So here I am... ready Lord. I BELIEVE you can heal me. I've seen it with my depression and I know it's possible (Matthew 19:26). I know that anything I ask for in your will, that you will give (1 John 5:14-15). And removing idols from my life is Your will. I can speak confidently and boldly because I truly believe now is the time for this heart issue to be molded into something beautiful. Will I always feel a dependency for Him in this area? Yes. Why? Because it's part of His perfect plan...

Jesus Calling December 8th
YOUR NEEDS (freedom) AND MY RICHES (inheritance, power, strength) are a perfect fit. I never meant for you to be self-sufficient. Instead I designed you to need Me not only for daily bread, but also for fulfillment of a deep yearnings. I carefully crafted your longings and feelings of incompleteness, to point you to Me. Therefore, do not try to bury or deny these feelings. Beware also of trying to pacify these longings with lesser gods: people, possessions, power (food).

Come to Me in all your neediness, with defenses down and the desire to be blessed. As you spend time in My Presence,  your deepest longings are fulfilled. Rejoice in your neediness, which enables you to find intimate completion in Me. (Emphasis and parenthesis added mine.)

 

What are you trying to be self-sufficient in?

How are you trying to pacify your feelings of incompleteness?

I'm starting the Made to Crave bible study with a couple of like-minded girls this week.
I am looking forward to:

• Freedom from my addiction. 
• Galations 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
• Healing from trying to be self-sufficient and pacifying my longings with food instead of God. 
• Phil 4:19 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
• Freedom from physically seeing myself (my size) as anything less than what God sees me as ... perfect.
• 2 Cor 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

I will keep you posted!

Does anyone struggle with ...

...loving Christmas sooo much ... but for the wrong reasons. The busyness of parties, decorating, finding the perfect gift, giving and receiving family cards, parades, pageants, programs ... do i need to continue.

Confession Time. My TV viewing triples this month, because I LOVE watching the cheesy hallmark Christmas movies with no lights on except my many indoor Christmas lights twinkling everywhere. I look forward to it all year .. and I'm sure George does not. :)

Although none of this is wrong, there is a reason for moderation. All these things can easily overshadow Christ in Christmas. EVERY year I have to constantly remind myself of what this time of year is really about.

Up until a few years ago, when I woke up on December 26th, I was so depressed. Why?... because "it" was all over... and "it" never lived up to the expectations I had in my head. Wow, how backwards is this thinking?!?! December 26th is not the end, but a symbol of new beginning that exceeds all of my expectations...

...God coming to this earth to live, feel, and struggle just like me - and to FREE me from ALL of it. What an amazing design to live for daily and not just from now until Christmas Day.

December is about anticipating and celebrating His coming... Advent. I have to make an extra effort each year to be intentional and not give into all the commercialism. This is an ongoing process of change for me. And with each year, I feel like I seem to get it a little more.

Celebrating advent with my kids has been a huge help. The past two years, I've used: 

1. Ann Voskamps - A Jesse Tree Devotional - I paraphrase the lesson since my children are young, but each night of December, we place a paper ornament on a special tree that symbolizes Christ's story that began all the way back in Genesis.
2. We also create a daily link chain of verses to go on our Jesse tree as well as follow a daily activity guide to go along with it.  (Although, this year, I'm slacking a bit on the daily activities... can I blame the pregnancy???)

I know as my kids grow older, this time of advent will revolve. Right now, I'm enjoying getting into the habit and am determined to have Christmas so full of Christ that it's near to impossible for my kids to struggle like I do each year.

Do you have a plan to keep Christ in Christmas? Don't think that since we are already in December, you cannot start now. It's just about getting into a habit.

Here are some ideas to check out - there are many out there so do a little searching for the perfect fit. If you have a plan, I would love to hear your ideas.

• http://www.conversiondiary.com/2010/11/baby-steps-for-celebrating-advent-a-cornucopia-of-ideas.html
• http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/holidays/making-meaningful-christmas-memories/celebrate-advent.aspx
• http://christianity.about.com/od/christmas/tp/allaboutadvent.htm

While December is all about anticipation of His coming, January - November is about US coming to Him...

...coming in humility, with adoration and praise for His extraordinary plan. A plan He designed way before we were even created.

Thanksgiving: Is it full of food or gratitude?

Were you thankful this Thanksgiving? Did you get your fill of food or God's blessings?

My Thanksgiving was absolutely amazing. Nothing special happened, I was super sleepy and had little energy, but my soul and spirit were in awe! I was full!!!!! And I'm excited to report that it was not full of food, but instead overflowing with thankfulness.

If you read my previous blog, you knew that I was sick, THANKFUL, but sick... dog sick. Too the point of no relief (wheezing, couldn't breathe, painful cough and chest pains, no sleep) - I can count these type moments on one hand. I decided to go to the doctor (for those who don't know, this is big because I never go) before we left for Birmingham last Wednesday. Praise God for Drugs! (Legal of course). The drive was close to miserable but slowly i started finding some relief.

Thanksgiving morning I woke up a new woman! Not just because I had a good nights rest and the antibiotics and inhaler were working, but mainly because I was soooo grateful for the relief. I could not stop thinking about the MANY people in this world who deal with chronic issues and cannot find relief. Most specifically, all the people in Africa (from my mission trips) with infections that we gave antibiotics to. There is so much sickness and infection in 3rd world countries with no access to medicine to find relief. This is how they live. I could not imagine.

We are so blessed in America and we have no clue or we have this sense of entitlement - we want what we want and need and we have to have it right now because we DESERVE it! Instant relief... Instant help/assistance... Instant gratification. Who do we think we are !?!?!

On Wednesday am, God gave me perspective, and I'm so grateful that He daily opens my eyes to new things. Yes, It took two hours at the doctor for them to listen to my chest and prescribe meds (that's a long time when you're miserable, cant breathe and the office staff are staring at you with either sympathy or concern for the other pregnant patients being near you - I couldn't tell), and an hour to wait and get my prescriptions at Walmart, followed by a long line.

Each time, I wanted to think of complaining, my mind went straight to those people with chronic discomfort and all the people in Africa and other countries who live with infection and would gratefully wait for days to be treated, but don't have the opportunity. I ended up spending this time waiting in prayer. Not prayers of desperation or demands, but of gratitude and thankfulness.

Thank you Lord. May I always live with a heart of thankfulness and not entitlement! May I never take for granted all the blessings available to us as Americans. And may I continue to have a heart for those who do not have.

I challenge you when you are in ANY situation where complaints or impatience start to creep in - STOP - figure out one blessing you have in that situation and your perspective WILL change.

Thankfulness opens the door...

A favorite devotional of mine - A perfect time to start putting this into practice.

Jesus Calling, Sarah Young, July 24

THANKFULNESS OPENS THE DOOR to My Presence. Though I am always with you, I have gone to great measures to preserve your freedom of choice. I have placed a door between you and me, and I have empowered you to open or close that door. There are many ways to open it, but a grateful attitude is one of the most effective.

Thankfulness is built on a substructure of trust. When thankful words stick in your throat, you need to check up on your foundation of trust. When thankfulness flows freely from your heart and lips, let your gratitude draw you closer to Me. I want you to learn the art of giving thanks in all circumstances. See how much time you can thank Me daily; this will awaken your awareness to a multitude of blessings. It will also cushion the impact of trials when they come against you. Practice My Presence by practicing the discipline of thankfulness.

 Psalm100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

 

So, how can we apply this to the rest of our Thanksgiving week?

• If you are traveling for the holidays and have delays or difficulties getting there, don't complain, be thankful for the ability to travel and a place to go and share this holiday with someone.
• When you arrive and are surrounded by family that drives you bonkers.... stop those thoughts and replace it with thankfulness ... of a home to go to and a family to celebrate with.
• When you eat too much turkey, dressing, pies and everything else - don't think Why did i eat that? and get down on yourself ... be thankful that you always have food and today is a day to enjoy yummy rich foods without the guilt.
• If you have to work on Thanksgiving or the day after, count your blessing of having a job in a time when unemployment rates are so high.
• If you do not have family to celebrate with, celebrate with your heavenly father and Thank Him for always being at your side. Thank Him that you are NEVER along and for this holiday weekend to spend with Him.
• IF you're one of the crazies who gets out in the Black Friday mess ( I am sometimes, but not thinking that will be this year), be thankful that it is not a mandatory thing, but instead one of your own doing.. and stop complaining. :)

• And if you are me, right now, who at 5am is pretty miserable from a nasty throat and chest cold... and literally got 4 hours of sleep in 2 hour increments this Thanksgiving Eve, count your many blessings. 
• There are many who live daily with chronic things like this or worse
• If I cannot sleep, I will spend time with my God. Thank you Lord for this time with you.

Jesus Calling, November 22
..A Thankful mind-set does not entail a denial of reality with its plethora of problems, Instead, it rejoices in M e, Your Savior, in the midst of trials and tribulations. I am your refuge and strength, an ever-present and well-roved help in trouble.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation!

Psalm 46:1 God is our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble.

HAPPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Back to my Basics

Yes, I almost went my first week without sending a blog - Part of me is thinking... don't stress too much because you will get into legalism... and this is true. But another part of me knows I'm dealing with a disconnect right now... I'm not in a great place... I'm falling into some old habits.

Why? what happened? I've got to get back to the basics of what God has been teaching me.

Ok, let me get my circumstantial complaints out real quick, then I will get down to the actual issue at hand. We all have these circumstantial things going on. We need to recognize them, identify the deception in them, find the root issue and turn back to the ONE true solution for all of it - His Truth and Trusting in it!

Here goes ... as shallow or embarrassing as it may seem...but I'm committed to being transparent and determined not to let anything stand in the way of my freedom in Christ.

THE CIRCUMSTANCE: I'm growing by the day and it's driving me bonkers! Eight more weeks to go before we meet sweet baby girl Michaud. And I'm wishing the time away.

• I'm obsessed, yes... I STILL am... with weight gain and want my due date to be NOW because I don't want to gain another pound (How messed up is that?)
• My fixation on food is out of control - I need the "I'm pregnant, I can eat this" excuse to leave and quickly! The Holiday season is upon us and it's just going to get worse! Yikes!
• My body is forcing me to be still. I miss my exercise... how it enhances my mood. It's been my "God Time." I haven't been able to run for 2 1/2 months now and even walking now is becoming painful or another activity I'm having to give up. This is really hard for me.

This circumstance is beginning to pull me inward and away from God

THE ACTUAL ISSUE: I'm so busy teetering between two extremes that are NOT from God, that I'm choosing NOT to glorify Him and live in His freedom.

• I'm giving into the cravings of the flesh (pure indulgence) and the lie "I have an excuse and only for a short time longer - so ... ENJOY it while you can!"
• I'm giving into people pleasing; Obsessed, because I don' t want to appear weak in this area, I don't want to be embarrassed by my size, I want to appear to have this area of my life "together." Basically, I'm choosing to see myself the way the world does or they way Satan makes me feel the world does; instead of the way I truly am - Beautiful in God's eyes. 

There is NO room for God and his plan
with all of this clouding my judgement.

THE SOLUTION: So what are my Basics I'm speaking of?

• Meditating on God's Loves for me - It's bigger than ANY circumstance and lie
• Speaking God's Word against negative thoughts and feelings (Reading through my collection of Bible Verses that bring life to my bones)
• Refusing any thoughts of condemnation or deception no matter what package they come in 
• "I am good enough IN Christ - not just my inner self, but also my appearance."
• "I don't have to be "exercising" to have my God time - I can do it physically being still."
• Seeking His presence and a Kingdom Perspective.
• What is really important right now?
• What is He trying to teach me through this trial?
• Get my focus off of myself and onto my calling - Being a light and walking in love. "Never mind what is going on around me, WHO can I bless today?"
• Listen to the Holy Spirit's Guidance:
• Verse He brought to mind: 1 Cor 6:19-20 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 
• What I'm going to do with it? My new motto I will speak until I feel it, believe it and act on it - "I WILL SACRIFICE THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD (over-indulgence) FOR MY GOD!"

And I will embrace even the bad days as God takes me through this growing and stretching process. 

After the vote has been cast...

If waking up this morning to the decisions of the world (more specifically our country) has you confused, in shock and bearing a heavy wight of worry... step back and take the kingdom perspective. Remember who is REALLY in charge and REST in that.

It saddens me that this country is so divided in their beliefs. Would there be such a separation if other countries had the same freedoms we did? I grew up believing that one party was evil and the other was the way to go. The truth is, we are all human, we all have evil trying to take over in our lives.  Trying to persuade us... deceive us ... use us. What are we doing about this issue in our own lives?  We need to start there and become one in the body of Christ (despite our political differences). We need to agree to disagree and work together to make a change in our own city. When Christians come together in harmony (because our "REAL" leader is the same).... that's where true change really takes place.

I learned around this time 4 years ago, something very valuable. I had a strong negative belief about our new president and didn't know what to do with that. At church, our pastor made a powerful statement to me that changed my view of it all. Votes have been cast, decisions have been made. If your candidate is not the winner (regardless of what side your on) it's not time to fear, worry, or hate. Its not time to sit on your opinions, obsess over the media's views, let it all fester and dwell on what could have been. It is time to PRAY.. .Pray for our new president, not against him and those you disagree with. Pray for his walk, for his decisions, for his responsibility (this country), his relationships and who he listens to, and where he chooses to take us.

Waking up this morning, I did have a moment of shock, BUT I WILL NOT GO THERE. I've learned not worry so much about it. Remember, no leader in this country or another is bigger than Our One true leader - and HIS SEAT IS NEVER UP FOR GRABS.

God is up there, looking down on us. Listen ... can you hear Him? ... He's saying "Trust me...don't worry, I have big plans. This is not a surprise. I got this. "

Yes, we as Christians need to do OUR PART - become educated about all that's going on and cast our vote. But then, we need to surrender... lay it into his more than capable hands. From there, no matter what the outcome is, we rest assured that no one on earth or beyond can change or take control over our Leader. And we need to answer His calls to make a difference in our country.... not through words of debate, but through action.

How comforting to know our God is sovereign and to be trusted.

OUR PART

Submitting to Authority
Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.

Remember God is in Control
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Pray in all things at all times
Ephesians 6:18 At all times, pray by the power of the Spirit. Pray all kinds of prayers. Be watchful, so that you can pray. Always keep on praying for all of God’s people.

Come together as the body of Christ - If we really do this, we can bring change no matter what election outcomes are.
1 Cor 12:12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ 
Col 3:14-16  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

A breakthrough right now...

In life, whatever we are going through...whatever we are waiting to overcome...

...we all want that quick fix... and we want it NOW! ... For the pain to be taken away... for things to be easy...without any blood, sweat and tears. 

• Freedom from an addiction or habit
• Healing from a physical/psychological sickness or ailment
• Solution to Financial problems
• Marriage problems instantly cured
• A Restored Relationship
• Overcoming a stronghold or mindset that you've believed most your life
• God's Truth to Transform our lives

...Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way ...Fortunately, it does work that way.

Victories come. Breakthroughs come. But they take TIME, FAITH, PERSEVERANCE and DILIGENCE! They take molding. Us moving a step forward in the process of becoming more like Christ. If they didn't take these things, it wouldn't stick. We wouldn't learn from the experience. We couldn't share and help others with our stories. We would not live differently.

We've all received victory and breakthroughs in life... we just have to recognize them (big or small). It may not be the one you want at this moment, but don't down play its importance... CELEBRATE IT!

I've overcome depression's hold over me. I've overcome my lack of faith in God's love and acceptance for me. I've overcome doubt, selfishness and negativity in my marriage. I've overcome the way I view money and the need or want for it - Instead, I trust in His provisions.

It took time, trial, perseverance, faith and diligence! It took me learning how to REFOCUS - on the right thing (the root of the issue, what God's word says about it, and what He is teaching me); instead of the wrong thing (the issue, the circumstance, my feelings about it ).

Was it easy? NO way.

Was it completely worth it? Absolutely.

While some of these things still try and creep back into my life, I recognize their falsehood because I have already battled for that freedom. I take the lies and thoughts about them captive (2 Cor 10:5) and live by what I know (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28)... God's Truth. It is the only truth we have and we must cling to it. Our lives depend on it!

What do I want to go away RIGHT NOW? My son's behavioral issues and my response to it, my feelings of failure as a mom, my love for food and its comfort, my fixation with body image and weight. What do I KNOW? That they will in His timing. My God is bigger and has a plan. Looking at my past victories, I can see that they were a learning process I HAD to go through. Now being on the other side of these things, I'm so thankful for the experience. I lean on this in times of trial and know that I know that I know that God will bring me victory in this area in His timing and with my obedience.

I must, however, not focus on the victory, because it will come when I'm not expecting it and will look different than what I picture.

So... what do you want to overcome or to go away at this very moment?

What are you doing to work towards that goal?

What are you focusing on? The victory (what you picture it to look like)? Or what God is teaching you right now through it?

Isaiah 55:9 The heavens are higher than the earth. And my ways are higher than your ways. My thoughts are higher than your thoughts.

Eph 3:20 God is able to do far more than we could ever ask for or imagine. He does everything by his power that is working in us.

God has other plans

So... yesterday, as I was to post my weekly blog... I was weak, beaten down... I had nothing. I figured I'd just skip this week and wait till I was in a better place next week... God had other plans...

This morning, the "You Version" bible verse of the day was

1 Corinthians 1:27 But God has chosen what the world calls foolish to shame the wise. He has chosen what the world calls weak to shame what is strong.

I didn't just choose to read it and move on with my day. I chose to meditate on it and see what it was saying to me. Yes, I am weak (in myself). Yes, I am foolish (in my own doing). But He CHOSE me. I am not to dwell on my weaknesses and inadequacies. I am to surrender them so God may do His good work and RECEIVE all the Glory.

God has given me a calling of transparency... revealing my foolishness and weakness... So I can not boast. But, So He can cover it and be glorified.

Thank you Lord for this calling. I will obey. I will not choose to hide in the moment when things are tough and wait to share when things are better. I will instead share my life ... where I am and the promise of where I am going.

Yesterday was full of feelings of defeat and failure of being a mom - Yes, Satan is hammering as hard as HE can in this area right now. I will not fold and give into it. I will NOT believe it. I will not make it my truth. For MY truth comes from THE TRUTH.

I will surrender my weaknesses and inadequacies and claim my Identity in Christ

1. I have the mind of Christ and hold the thoughts of His heart. (1 Cor 2:16)
2. I have NO lack for my God supplies ALL of my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:19)
3. I have received the power of the Holy spirit. I have power over the enemy in Jesus Name (Luke 10:17,19; Mark 16:17,18)

What will you claim as your truth when things seem bleak? Will you allow your foolishness and weaknessese to defeat you OR will you allow God to use them for His glory?

All You Need is Love...

Joyce Meyer says - There is nothing more important than for you to know that you know that you know that God loves you unconditionally. There has NEVER been a time in your life that God has NOT loved you. HE WILL NEVER NOT LOVE YOU.

 I agree and I’ve spoke of this before. But I believe it’s worth revisiting.

This truth is so simple. MANY think they believe it, but VERY FEW actually grasp it in their lifetime… I've been a Christian since I was 10 years old, yet, I didn’t finally get "this" until I was 28!!!

You have to watch this powerful video!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/uo4bqaf01g4vu7a/Inheritance.mp4

 Ever since I was little, I believed in God's love... it was fact. I sang about it ... read about it... heard about it in church... yet I was still miserable, overwhelmed in depressed the majority of the time. Why? I never felt GOOD enough. I thought I had to be better. So I invited Satan's condemnation into my life because I could NOT combat it with God's love. I couldn’t combat it, because I did NOT have the FAITH in His love to RECEIVE IT.

Why is this truth so hard to grasp? I believe it's because...

1. We don't understand what love really is

• Very early on, we learn to love the way the world loves... conditionally... a give and take kind of relationship. Therefore, most of feel we need to BE or DO something more for God to love us. This is LEGALISM and not love. If this was true, Christ did NOT have to die.
• This lie is so easily received because it's the world's thinking and what our flesh is drawn to. You don't NEED faith for this kind of "love." Our spirit is drawn to God's love, but if we keep allowing our flesh to control our lives, we cannot understand and believe in His True Love.

2. We don't love ourselves

• All of us in some way or another are constantly trying to fill ourselves with something because we don't know how to just RECEIVE God's love. Why did God create us? He was so full of something (love) that we wanted somewhere to put it. That hole we are trying to fill is only satisfied with God's love. Why did He create you? To Love You. (Pastor Chip Judd)
• Satan makes sure we feel condemnation any chance he gets. In fact, Satan's first method of temptation to Eve in the garden was to bring doubt of God's love upon her. (BSF Int'l Genesis study). That right there shows us the importance of knowing God's love.
• You must learn to love yourself JUST BECAUSE GOD LOVE YOU, only then will you get the upper hand of condemnation in your life.

Do we really know what love is?

1. It’s a CHOICE, not a feeling.

2. It’s UNCONDITIONAL

• Totally giving of yourself to meet the needs of others without expecting anything in return
• Loving someone exactly as they are today; regardless of what they have done in the past, are doing in the present, or what they will do in the future.
• It leaves no room for disappointment in or shame for another - only COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE

To find the true meaning, we must go to the Word of God

• 1 John 4:8 Those who do not love do not know God because God is love.
• Love freely gives – John 3:16 He so loved us, he GAVE
• Love IS BEFORE receiving anything in return Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners (His enemies), Christ died for us.
• Love is a Bond that CANNOT be broken – Romans 8:38-39 NOTHING can keep us from the love of God through Christ
• Love plays NO favorites – Job 34:19 (he shows no favor one over another - We are ALL the work of His hands)
• Love Is steadfast (constant, unwavering) and Endures forever – Psalm 136:26

Jesus came to help us “SEE” the love of God

 So How did I Come to KNOW of God’s love?

Joyce Meyer in Battlefield of the Mind says, In order to experience God’s love, you have to meditate on it. If you don’t meditate on it, you will not experience it.

That’s exactly what I did. Every morning, I would close my eyes, sit in quiet and speak three words “God Loves Me.”  I would then think on those three powerful words, and speak it again with more confidence. I’m not sure when it happened, but I truly believe this is how I found it.

Just like Love is a CHOICE, not a feeling;

Accepting His Love is a choice and not based on a feeling.

 So… Do you know that you know that you know that God Loves You? Do you ever doubt his love? Do you give into the voice of condemnation and allow it to take away your joy? Do you trust him with your life? Your whole life?

Do the God Love Me exercise even if you believe it already. It may open your eyes to something more. I pray it blesses you the way it has me.

Sticks and Stones...

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me..."

Whoever came up with that one!?!? Not only is it false for speaking out at others, but maybe more so for speaking to yourself. (outward speech and inward talk - your thoughts).

I think of myself as a pretty positive person ...speaking and being able to turn my thoughts around. ... But boy have I been blinded in the area of my children... especially my "character builder".... even more specifically homeschooling him.

It's a long battle and a daily struggle where I'm literally hanging onto a thread. I really don't know if I've daily attempted anything harder than this before. I have been failing miserably at speaking words of life to him and most of my mommy guilt stems from this. My patience is shot... And I could swear that, at times, my face is beet red and steam is coming out of my ears.

I have been praying for a long time for God to cover this area for me, but it doesn't seem to get much better. My prayers sound something like "God I cant do this. I need you. Help me change HIM." ... Could it be that my own prayers, thoughts, words are hindering my progress?!?!

My prayers NEED to be positive. I need a new prayer .. from CHANGE HIM to SHOW ME. 

Father God, Thank you for my precious boys and the opportunity you've given me to train their hearts. Thank you for always loving me even when I fail.

• Show me how to do the same - train them up and discipline in this love.
• Show me how to love and accept ALL of them the way you love and accept ALL of me.
• Show me how to allow them to be who you created them to be and not some perfect mold that "I" think they should.
• Give me the grace to change my perspective and control my anger. I recognize that changing this part of me WILL make all the difference.  

I've also recognized a few other things to:

• I have to take responsibility for my words no matter how hard or validated I feel they are
•  My words and thoughts NEED to line up with my new prayers                P-O-S-I-T-I-V-E
• Changing my words and what I speak to and over him, is the FIRST step to changing my thoughts and perspective of the situation
• When I speak of him to others, that talk MUST be positive and hopeful as well

I was recently told that, it's the "character builders" who you form the tightest bonds with later in life. I CLAIM this while I persevere, hold my tongue and take my own "time outs" to find my sanity. I will SPEAK this when change seems hopeless. I will PUSH FORWARD, and be POSITIVE in my thoughts, words and actions no matter how the outlook appears in my mind.

So WHO do you need to put this very thing into practice with?

Your Child(ren)? Spouse? Relative? Boss? Friend? Neighbor?

 Who in your life brings out some little "uncontrollable monster" at times? Where in your life is their negative talk (inwardly and outwardly) going on? Evaluate your prayer life... what area(s) are you not praying positively in? Are you hindering your own progress?
.

Give it a try... Change your words about them... See what happens!

 

Just saw this video on a tweet. How appropriately fitting! Enjoy!

http://www.stevenfurtick.com/elevation-creative/elevation-creative-i-am-loved/



 

Is it me, or is there no way around "Mommy Guilt"?

The MOM WHO WORKS out of the home or goes back to school (whether out of a need or want) feels guilty for NOT

• being home and keeping it in "perfect" order
• being more involved in her kids lives
• getting done all that she feels is expected of her
• I'm sure I've left out a few...

The STAY AT HOME MOM feels guilty for NOT

• keeping her home and all other things expected of her in "perfect" order
• having the perfect child(ren) because she has "time" with them
• having her child more active in activities and sports due to finances
• being able to contribute to the family finances
• and belive it or not, for not feeling she gets "good" time with her little ones

It doesnt matter what end of the spectrum you are on, Satan knows how to get to all of us - attacking our ability, decisions and adequacy as a mother.

... And boy has he been getting me in the adequacy department. Seriously, the lies are a daily struggle these days. I don't feel like a good mom. I just don't seem to have the time I need to get IT all done. I don't feel like I have them "under control" and am able to teach them all the things that I need to. And, I'm ashamed to admit how often I lose my cool with them... Where is my "happy heart"!?!?

We have to stop and recognize where the guilt and lies are coming from AND that it will always be there UNLESS we change our perspective. This guilt is only a feeling... it is not truth. It's up to us whether we will take that guilt and condemnation on or CHOOSE to take it captive and replace it with the truth. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

What is the truth that I CHOOSE to cling to?

• When I feel guilt, condemnation or inadequacy as a parent, I will immediately replace it with a complete dependence on God, the ONLY perfect parent. (Psalm 138:8; Proverbs 3:5-6)
• When I mess up or am wrong, I will humbly ask forgiveness from my savior, as well as my children. (2 Chronicles 7:14)
• I cannot fix or control my kids - this was never my job and only leads to pride, worry and more feelings of inadequacy. I will surrender my abilities AND my children to God ...and leave it all in His more than capable hands. (Matthew 19:26)
• I will "train up" my children according to the word and not my own agenda (Proverbs 22:6; Dueteronomy 6:4-9; Romans 12:2)
• There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. If I hear the "not good enough" lie trying to get into my head. I will take it captive. I am a good enough mom IN Christ. (Romans 8:1; 2 Corinthians 5:21) 
• I will pray God's protection for my children (not from circumstances, but instead from lies that Satan will try to fill thier minds with). When I mess up, I will repent and ask God to work in my weakness (Phillipians 4:6-7; 2 Corinthians 12:9). And, I will trust that my sins and my children's are covered because love covers a mulititude of sins (1 Peter 4:8; Romans 8:1).

BOTTOM LINE - My kids are for GOD'S GLORY and NOT MINE.

 

So I will stand by my newfound motto since becoming a mom ... "there is no judgement in motherhood." I believe we are all doing the best we can with what we  have. I just pray we all know what we have - The perfect helper and sustainer to lean on. (Psalm 54:4; Hebrews 4:16)

Little by Little

As I've mentioned before, there has been a life long issue that I've faced and am tearing down one block at a time. Little by Little. We all have one; why does it have to take so long?

Exodus 23:30 Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased and are numerous enough to take possession of the land.

Why? So I may know that my dependence and strength comes from God and not of myself. When I am strong enough in Him and have clarity and wisdom from Him; then I will find that freedom from it.

So, I know freedom is coming. And in the interim, I will CHOOSE to: 

• Say one of Joyce Meyer's famous lines. "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. I'm OK and I'm on my way."
• Address the issue and identify where I am being deceived
• Learn how to gain freedom from it
• Wait expectantly for Him to rescue me.

Now... lets get back to the issue at hand - that dreadful issue MANY of us women have - Our Body Image. In this area right now, I have two competing mindsets (lies)

1. You CAN eat that because you're pregnant. (This one takes over very easily in the moment)
2. I can only gain X amount of weight. I shouldn't have done that and must be better next time and exercise more!!! (This takes it's place soon after the moment passes and until the next weak moment comes)

Talk about two personalities - two extremes - two competing thoughts. Can anyone say GIRL... YOU NEED SOME BALANCE!?!?!

I'm either over-indulging (Have I mentioned how much better food is when you are pregnant???) or I'm obsessed with the way I look and how much weight I'm gaining. It's a nasty set of lies and a cycle that I am fighting daily right now. Every time I go by a mirror, I stop and turn to the side to see "just how bad I look." - Yes, you heard right. Pregnancy is beautiful, but Satan is trying to take that away from me.

Let me also take you back to pre-pregnancy. The past few years, my struggles with food and weight have been much more contained and under control. However, I must admit the obsessiveness of it has never let up. I would always walk by that mirror and feel inferior, I would still overindulge - but then run extra far that day; and would constantly be comparing myself to others. I am realizing my own thought up solution (even though it was temporarily working) was merely counterfeit and its time to get to the root issue.

THE ROOT ISSUE:

• That nasty lie of "I'm not good enough" is still deceiving me in this one area (2 Cor 5:21). I compare myself to other women NO matter what size I am. (2 Cor 10:12). I'm measuring myself against the wrong rules (Romans 7:4).
• I'm going to food to "fill" me (spiritually) instead of to God; which leaves me feeling emptier than before. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). 1 Timothy 5:6 But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.

In the book, Live Differently, Think Differently, Bob Hamp refers to this type of struggle as bondage (Being stuck or dissatisfied). I would have to agree. So... now I've identified this area of bondage. How do we overcome it?

What's got your stomach in knots?

Fears. We all have those things in our life that cause us fear and anxiety. Some are big things, others are smaller and just plain silly.

Mine is public speaking... and that is exactly what I will be doing in front of over 50 women every Tuesday night for the next 10 weeks. I think back to the days, not too joyfully, of Public Speaking 101 in College (and high school) when I'd literally have nightmares the night before and be terribly anxious for days leading up to it. When time came, my stomach was in knots, I'd start sweating, my chest turned red, I'd feel like I couldn't breath and my adrenaline was out of control... and not in a good way. I've been told I make funny faces and that dreaded word, "Ummm" comes out ever other word. It's a glorious sight as I'm sure you can imagine!

Speaking in front of people is a common fear. Why do we make it such a traumatic thing? I believe it's because we all want to portray ourselves a certain way... PERFECT! We want to impress others and for them to think that we have it all together. We are so worried about what they think and we let that dictate WAY too much of our lives.

THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT. Despite my traumatic experiences in the past, the cool thing is.... I've been at peace this whole time and I've had plenty of chances to get myself worked up. I'm trusting and truly believing that this same peace will be there while I speak.
 
God has called me to this specific role for this season of my life and I KNOW he will provide all that I need to carry me through. So, tonight, I CHOOSE to not worry about.....

Whether my armpits are sweating

Falling over a chair

Running out of breath while I'm talking (even though I'm more winded now since I'm pregnant)

Saying something that makes absolutely no sense OR completely forgetting what I'm supposed to say


Bottom Line: I CHOOSE to not worry about whether I'm a good or bad speaker. I CHOOSE to put my focus on God, for He is my audience of One. 

This study I'm leading is not about me or my great speaking abilities. It's for His glory, not mine. It's for His Kingdom, not my resume. I'm asking for more of Him and less of me. I am thinking on this and keeping my focus on where it needs to be... On Him and not me. I look forward to reporting back to you after the big event. (written Tuesday, Sept 18th 2pm)

(Bright and early Wed, Sept 19th) I"m completely amazed. I was NEVER nervous. I NEVER lost my peace. Even when I put my headset on upside down, even when I almost lost my balance and fell over, and even when I caught myself saying "ummm" in the beginning. I just kept going and relying on Him. Thank you God for your faithfulness!  Wow. How, absolutely cool. It is so true... He will equip you with what you need when you need it. Our job is to just surrender and trust it!

This past weekend, my dear friend, accountability and co-leader had gave me this verse which I thought on and reminded myself of often.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5 Brothers and sisters, when I came to you I didn’t come with fancy words or great wisdom. I preached to you the truth about God’s love. I made up my mind to pay attention to only one thing while I was with you. That one thing was Jesus Christ and his death on the cross. When I came to you, I was weak and afraid and trembling all over. I didn’t preach my message with clever and compelling words. As I preached, the Holy Spirit showed his power. That was so you would believe not because of human wisdom but because of God’s power. (emphasis mine)

What if we truly lived life this way in all things? Not just when we have to speak or lead something. But when we are raising our kids, have any big or small undertaking, have a big day ahead and much to get done, talking to our neighbors or just simply enjoying time out with our friends. What if we truly lived to be a vessel allowing for Him to lead? What if we made it more about Him than us? Seems like life would be much easier. We are the ones making it so hard.

If we'd just do things in His name and strength and not our own we would find constant peace.
Isaiah 26:3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.

Have you been attacked?

...I mean spiritually. The truth is we are attacked often and many aren't even aware of it. They say ... it's just a coincidence... or I'm just having a really bad day. Have you ever woke up one morning and thought to your self, "What's wrong me today?!?!... I'm a little off and I don't know why"? These are just a few examples of attacks.

The truth is, the more you are doing for the Lord, the more Satan will try to keep you from doing it ... OR, at the very least, he will try to make you lose your cool in the midst of it.

I'm definitely getting some offensive moves put on me right now and I'm sure more are to come this fall while I lead the Battles of the Mind study (which talks about these types of things). Alot of preparation has gone into this study and my co-leaders and I are in the midst of it right now. Out of the three of us, we've been faced with health issues, extreme busyness, life out of balance... even misunderstandings and dissension trying to come between us... you name it, it's been happening.

Monday night, as I was putting many folders together for the study, my nose starts to bleed onto my papers and my cute little maternity dress I borrowed from a girlfriend (so sorry SC! ...the stain did come out though. Note, this has happened a few times while I've been pregnant so nothing to worry about.) That morning, as I was working on the study on my laptop and eating my cereal, I spilled milk on my keyboard and now my "g"'s and "h"'s no longer work - I have to cut and paste them!!! Talk about time waister! ... OK, the milk and computer thing was a little my fault.. Don't eat around the computer, but I can tell you these things are happening to get me flustered! This past week, I was not well, ankles were swelling a bit, and my body felt like it had the flu (it was the same feeling I had when I went on bed rest half way through my pregnancy with Connor - my 2nd). This week I am fine (thank you God) and I'm believing all is well with the pregnancy. Fear for the health of my daughter does still creep into my mind often, but I recognize this is not from God and I CHOOSE to trust Him and His promises instead of believe the enemy and his lies.... THESE ARE ATTACKS.

In your own life, do you believe these types of things are a battle or coincidence?

Angels and Demons. There are movies and books about them. Even costumes we dress our children in at Halloween. But, do you really believe in them? If you do, does it freak you out and you try not to think about it? That was me for a long time. However, it won’t make them go away. In fact, if Satan can get you to believe he doesn't exist, then he has a huge advantage over you. The unseen world. It’s very real. There is something much bigger than us and “our little worlds” going on. We need to recognize it, know what side we’re fighting on and resist.

James 4:7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Not convinced? Are you thinking I've lost my marbles?
Look at what the Bible says about the unseen world.
Ephesians 6:12; Colossians 1:16, 2:15; 2 Corinthians 10:3-4; Romans 8:38-39

Satan is the father of lies and of all that is false (John 8:44). He is the great deceiver & accuser (Rev 12:9-10).

How does he attack? Through circumstances, people and our minds. Little by little. Carefully laid plans. It all sound like a horror movie or a psychological thriller. In a way it could be, but, NOT IF YOU ARE IN CHRIST. TAKE HEART, YOU'RE COVERED.

• -2 Chronicles 20:15 And he said, “Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the Lord to you: ‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.  (Emphasis mine)

• John16:33 In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world;

• 1John 4:4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world

Still not convinced? Think on these scenarios and see if any sound familiar?

Church in a Bar?!?!?

How many of you out there need a vacation from your vacation?!?! We got home yesterday (10 days away) ... and yes, if you read my last post, we did finally make it down to Perdido Key for some nice beautiful beach time. Now... all I can say is, I'm pooped! I'm a hot mess! I have hit a wall and whenever I get up, I either break something, drop something or hurt myself (good thing baby #3 is safe and sound in the womb). Needless to say, I'm staying seated and throwing in the towel for the day ... after I write this post. (warning: might not be too deep since my brain is mush).

 

Boy do I have a message for you today though. Guess where I heard this message this past Sunday? ... Yes... At a church service. Guess where?.... Nope... a hole in the wall bar on the AL/FL border. The same bar that is known for it's crazy times and that I frequented often during my college years. I heard about a church service there and of course was a little skeptical. At first I wanted to go because I was curious, then I questioned if I should go... if it would honor God. Then as time came closer to go, I wanted to stay out on the beach and lounge instead. This is when I realized I would be dishonoring God if I did NOT go.... So I went.

 

Would you believe the place was packed?!?!? Standing room only... Children running around everywhere... no one with bushwhackers or other cocktails in their hands; but instead water bottles the many volunteers were passing out. I was in awe. The pastor was awesome... Worship was sincere... It was the real deal! And to top it off, it ended with baptisms in the ocean (1 was planned - an 8yr old girl, 2 others were spontaneous middle aged men). How incredibly cool is that!?!?!?

 

Ministries like that get me excited. Out of the box. Going out in the world and being among the lost. (Mark 2:17). That's where you see God at work. And to think... I almost didn't go. I almost gave into the judgemental "Pharisee" mindset. This was an AHA moment for me. Sometimes we the "Church" stay sheltered inside the "church" building and we miss BEING the "Church" that God called us to be (Mark 16:15). This is the True Church ... not a building, but people leaving the "building" to share the gospel.

 

So, what's the challenge for us here? Start preaching in a bar? No... Not for most of us anyway. I believe it's to change our thinking about Sunday church and start doing church everyday.  We've been going to church once a week to get filled up. But then, what do we do with it. Keep it for ourselves or pour it out on those who need it outside of church? Church doesnt have to be a service... church is us going out in the world being a light and sharing our stories. Your Church building is the filling station. Go out and use the fuel for good.

 

Start thinking out of the box. How can you be a light today? How can you be THE church outside of YOUR church?

 

Mark 16:15  And then he told them, “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone

 

Mark 2:15-17 Later, Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. (There were many people of this kind among Jesus’ followers.) But when the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees saw him eating with tax collectors and other sinners, they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”